Dear Jim Bob,
At a local restaurant play area, I recently saw one child act aggressively towards another, i.e. throwing sand in the other child’s face, knocking him down, etc. My first reaction was to remove the non-aggressive child from the environment. However, I also wanted to tell the non-aggressive child to defend himself, to knock the bully down if necessary, to push the bully’s face into the sand. What does the Bible mean by turn the other check, and how do we teach this to our children?
Thanks,
Ready to Fight
Dear Ready,
I will take this opportunity to shamelessly push a book I just finished writing entitled, “Climbing Higher.” The book is written in a daily devotional format and uses Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount as the primary text. The reason I bring it up is not only because I’m trying to raise enough money to buy my own yak, but because week five deals specifically with this topic. If you would like to order the book, you can write me at wadingin@theriverumc.com
Okay, enough pathetic commercialism; on to a response. I believe, if you take Jesus’ teaching to turn the other cheek in context with the entire Sermon on the Mount, he was illustrating how radically different a person could live if he truly surrendered his life to Christ. Just prior to the whole “turn the other cheek” reference, Jesus talked about how we could live free of hatred, lust, and lies. In my humble little opinion, the core message of Jesus’ admonition to turn the other cheek was to say that we could live lives that did not revolve around whether our rights were being met or not. I don’t believe Jesus was calling all Christians to be doormats to the world, but rather he was sharing the good news that we could live without the destructive tendency to strike out whenever we’ve been injured or inconvenienced.
Imagine how freeing it would be to be able to maintain a steady calm in the midst of a firestorm of false accusation simply because we find our value not in what others say about us or do to us but because we find our value in what God says about us and has already done for us. It’s those who remain calm despite the chaos around them who typically triumph in any given situation. In many ways, Jesus’ reference to turning the other cheek and walking the extra mile are illustrations of Matt. 5:5, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”
By the way (shameful book pushing again), Matthew 5:1-16 is the cornerstone text of another book I wrote two years ago entitled, “A Walk on The Mountain.” What can I say; I really want that yak.
The other question you asked is a bit more complicated, but illustrates another aspect of what Jesus had in mind. Being a parent myself, I think it’s only healthy for parents to teach their children to stand up for themselves, but to do it in a Christ-like manner. Jesus wasn’t a push over, but he sensed through the Spirit’s leading, when he needed to surrender his rights in order for God’s greater plan to be accomplished. Sometimes our children will need to stand up to the bully because a bully can be “de-bullied” if he/she comes in contact with a formidable opponent. However, sometimes, the longer lasting lesson and more dramatic impact on the bully (and any present audience) is had when one’s response to a bully is non-violent, i.e. Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr..
The primary qualifier I’ve discovered over the years is that Christ calls us not only from a life of having to protect our personal rights but also to a life of intentionally working to protect the rights of others. Part of the joy and the frustration of the Christian faith is figuring out what both of those look like. Sometimes we’ll get it right. Other times we’ll blow it. At the heart of getting it right more often than not is staying connected to the Spirit and listening to His voice.
Ready to Relinquish Control
Jim
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